I Love You (without a “pause”)


I was texting my good friend earlier today and had a “Pause” moment. When a guy says something that could be twisted into insinuating homosexuality, it’s common for that guy to say “Pause” after speaking. This may be news to some, but to others it’s for the culture.


This good friend of mine actually is a childhood friend whom I’ve known since middle school days. We were best friends who had a fallout, realized things wouldn’t be the same and now casually talk here and there. Not sure how other guys relate to their best friends, but we always kick jokes back and forth: you ugly as shit boyyy, you look like an android emoji, your hairline doing the cha cha slide…. the list goes on forever. That’s how me and my boy were; laughter always filled the room whenever we linked up. This day his call was much different. He had just broken up with his longtime girlfriend and I could tell he was a bit sad. I joked around like we always do and got him laughing again, thinking to myself “yeah, got my main man back.”


What he asked me next took me by surprise. He goes, “you should come with me when I take my certification exam.” I waited for the “pause” and after a while I decided to chime in.




That was my response. I then proceeded to ask if he wanted me to hold his hand while he walks into the testing center. I was still in prime joke mode; he wasn’t. After he asked again and I realized he was serious, I told him my presence dropping him off at his testing center would not help his chances of passing the exam. At that moment it hit me; my guy is really hurting. He just broke up with his girl and he doesn’t know how to express himself so he just wants someone familiar to take him to his testing site.


I agreed to take him after considering how hurt he may be. As men, it’s not cool to tell your boys how mad/upset you are that you lost the girl you love. We are just supposed to hit the club with our bros and get more pussy. There are a few things that men just don’t do/say regarding personal feelings and I’m over it. Over it, because I love my brothers. I love my friend enough to not let him trick himself into feeling alone. If I have to drop him off at a building and tell him best wishes on his exam, then that’s what I will do!


If you are a guy reading this and you have a brother (related or not) going through something, next time you talk to him tell him you love him. Don’t feel the need to add a “no homo” or “pause” either. I’m sure he might be surprised, but in a world where the mental health of our men are suffering, it’s a small gesture to make someone feel appreciated. I will be honest, I don’t tell any man I love you, but for the guys that are close to me, my blood brother and my tight circle of friends, I would be devastated if you were to leave this earth not knowing how much I love and appreciate you. Life is short gentlemen; spread that love real quick.


2 comments on “I Love You (without a “pause”)”

  1. Powerful words. Thanks for talking about this facade of “strength” men are supposed to put on. It’s not fair to men or women that society puts these limitations on males, and the costs can be detrimental. Being in any relationship (especially romantic) is an uphill battle if individuals don’t know how to face and express their feelings.


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