p.s I wasnt listening to Drake's "Scorpion Side B" when I wrote this. Strictly written for the youth dem. Bless up!
This is for my younger 21-25 crowd. Fellas, pull up a seat, I think I qualify as an OG now lol. A few years ago I was in your shoes, with the perceived world at my disposal. As a man you find certain traits about you that contribute to your braggadocio. It can be your height, money, facial hair, ya whip, or even the way you talk. My toxin was a bit different, but dangerous nonetheless. In my earlier 20’s I realized I was tall, eloquent, composed and more, but the thing that swapped my body with that of a peacock was my faith in God. Might sound confusing, but I used to walk around knowing that God’s favor was effervescent. People saw that in me! I had that personality you wanted to be around. If you would have told me this back then, I would have laughed it off. At that moment no one could stop me from myself, not even the girl I loved.
There is nothing wrong with knowing you are covered by the Blood, but with great power comes great responsibility. As men, when we feel power it needs to be met with equal humility or else we start to “get in our bag” aka heads get bigger. At that time in my life I wasn’t watching the company I kept, conversations I had, and worst of all, I skimmed through the Word of God. There was no practice; I was reading the Bible with no answerability. I was in my bag and sure enough I met a beautiful soul. God meant that for me! Its only right that I step into a relationship, right? I’m going to highlight 5 ways pride destroyed relationships in my earlier 20’s. Hopefully this resonates with someone and prompts an effort to change.
- I became oblivious to women around me
- No one ever flirted with me while I was in a relationship. It was just a jealous girlfriend mad that I got attention. This seemed true until I started talking to every one of these women who flirted with me upon every “break.” TERRIBLE – I used to think I never cheated because I was on a break, but I was definitely unfaithful.
- I built a temper
- You couldn’t actually tell me I had a temper either, because I had a “won’t call you a bitch” temper. I told myself if I don’t curse or hit a woman that validated my “calmness.” FALSE ⁃ I was a monster hiding behind the build of a man
- I dismissed people
- Until my most recent breakup, I had been the one doing all the dismissals. Oh how I ruled with an iron fist; if you offended me, I wouldn’t try to see things from your point of view. I had too high of a ceiling to do that. NO MERCY – What if God dismissed me every time I offended Him……
- I reoriented a good woman
- That woman that you can’t figure out how to lower her guard to prove that you love her…. Yep, that was the result of a 21 – 25 year old Tobe. Women pour out their souls to us and we keep the tap running, drinking until there is nothing left. 1 CORINTHIANS CH 3 v 17 -“If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy….” God has definitely dealt with me for tampering with His creation.
5. I rushed into post relationships
- I became scared that God wouldn’t allow me to find happiness because I was ashamed of my past. So, I took things into my own hands and I opened the door to situation-ships and other relationships that only wasted both parties time as we truly weren’t meant to be together. FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY – Sometimes we fall in “strong like” because we are eager to prove someone wrong.
These are just 5 of the bigger consequences of my pride. I am open to talk with any man who wants to know more about my past in order to help their future. Hit me up! Now it wouldn’t be just if I didn’t tell you about my journey back to humility. The 1st step was recognition that I had a problem and from there, my faith helped me forgive myself and move forward.
Read the book of James:
Honestly can’t say enough about what this book did to my life. I meditated and practiced what I read in this book. It talked about confession, submission, patience, lust, and so much more. I also stayed to myself for a little while. I wasn’t in a relationship for quite some time until I felt it was right for me to open up to someone. It made a huge difference, as my last relationship was pure, and didn’t have any of my previous mistakes devour it. Prayer should not be overlooked as well; talking to God always is a go-to procedure. I also signed up for Therapy! Lastly, you must be contrite. Too many men think playing with women is just part of the game. I was truly sorry for the wrong which I had done.
Thanks for reading and hopefully this helps you in some way tackle your pride when it comes to love. I have since been in a better place as a man and my relationships are much healthier. You can have all the money and success in the world, but if your past is creating a black hole for your relationships, you will always feel empty. My prayers for any young man reading this is that you find an honest soul to give you criticism in areas that you lack humility. Listening is very important when young as there is always a lesson we can apply to our lives and escape unnecessary hardships. I love where I am at now, but here is an analogy to sum up how I feel: I bought a car to travel across country, when I could have listened to some good advice from a loved one and taken an Uber, incurred no personal milage and arrived at my destination.