By I ran into a childhood friend the other day. It was good seeing Davon; we used to play football and hang out around the neighborhood about 15 years ago. We gave each other a complimentary “yooooo what’s good,” followed by a perfunctory dap. My man Davon…. We actually weren’t fond of each other growing up; he was a year or two younger than me and could run his mouth for days on end. We then proceeded to act like we care and ask, “what you been up to yo.” I went first and gave him the classic Baltimore platitude “chillin, just tryna get this money and stay out the way.” Davon takes it a step further and says “shit, tryna take care of these kids.” I quickly applaud him for what he is doing before he can go any further. Any man stepping up to the responsibilities of fatherhood is alright in my book. He gave me a puzzled look and asked “Where yo kids at? You ain’t got no kids?”
I just hit 29 this year, and life could be better, but is far from terrible. Single, working out, money isn’t bad, and eating well. Why did Davon’s comment make me feel the opposite of how I thought life was? After all, Davon did say how lucky I am, but this was after he dug the knife in my chest by saying “you gotta grow the family my nigga.” Our conversation was brief as his kids came out to his truck. I dapped him up and told him I’ll catch him later. As I walked away there was a little bit of envy in my heart. I want to be daddy (outside of the sheets) and have some little ones running around! These are not your typical 29-year-old problems; I should be worrying about hot boy summer ‘19 moves and making more money, but nahhh.
Lord knows I want kids, as many as the woman I settle down with will permit lol. However, being patient as a single man is very difficult. It’s not like I won’t have fun making children lol. I also make decent money to start a family (money isn’t the most important factor). What is stopping me? There are plenty of good women out there that would take a fellow like me and settle down. I thought about this issue for about an hour while lying in bed, before coming to a conclusion: Fuck Davon lol (oh no, the Christian guy cursed). I will be ok; God’s time is the best.
Trusting that God knows our heart’s desires is a daunting task especially in a world where every solution is sold on Amazon. We are led to thing we have freedom to do as we please regardless of what God may think. My devotion from Romans 12 helped me get through the day as well. Verse 12 states
Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer
Ain’t that a mood! RPC – Rejoice, Patient and Continue. It will be difficult but, I will rejoice all the kids that I have from my siblings and family members. I will be patient and hold myself accountable for my sexual activity. Lastly, you know I’m a continue to believe God has something good for me! I think back to a song my mother used to make us sing in our family prayer circles as a kid,
Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey…..
Please Lord, don’t let Davon come and stunt on me with his kids. Bless me with a wife who will bring forth plenty of children. If it’s not too much to ask, make sure I run into Davon again in 3 years when I have my…. ok I’m joking. In the mighty name of Jesus, I pray. Amen
Long Live Tobe 